Last night, my besties and I watched West Side Story. I’d seen it before (a few times, actually), and was therefore snickering in advance of the ever-rising homoerotic tension and hackneyed dialogue. But Jo and Toni had not previously experienced the dubious delights of high-kicking gangs in tight pants, and since Jo is slowly working her way through the AFI’s 100 Best Movies (or whatever the list is officially called; I am too lazy to Google it), we sat through the whole thing.

I remember having to watch it in music class in high school (to this day, I’m not entirely sure why), and for weeks afterward, my friend Al and I would snap our fingers and poorly imitate dance moves while cackling inanely. So much for the timeless tale of star-cross’d lovers appealing to sensitive youths.

I suppose I qualify as a closet romantic, if you stipulate that the closet door is barricaded by shoeboxes full of cynicism and irony. Well, maybe that’s not entirely true. I cried BUCKETS over The Time Traveler’s Wife (the trailer looks like shit, and I am not sold on the casting, but I probably will end up seeing the damn movie), and I have been known to melt over various other books and films. Real life romance, however, freaks me out a little.

Mother has a theory that I’m getting too set in my ways (read: independent and mean to guys) to ever find a mate. I would say that her old-fashioned leanings are leading her to believe I need a man to look after me, but she also believes that my brother needs someone to look after him (who, incidentally, would also need to be a man). It’s probably more true in his case. Once, I demanded to know why my big brother never bothered beating up guys on my behalf, and he said it was because I could do it on my own. True. I’m more intimidating than my brother (but less than my little sister). I suppose going to Thailand to live in a jungle and learn to kick box will only exacerbate this.