Sometimes, you go to a gay hip hop party at a local hostel, and then end up going home with the guy you met on the street corner after trying to pick him up for your (male) friend. And somewhere in there, you climb a tree, and acquire a wicked bruise on the inside of your upper arm. Friday night goes in my list of top five most random evenings.
Having been categorically unable to sustain a relationship for longer than a few months at a time (I blame my short attention span), I have never been able to adapt to sleeping in a bed with someone. I contemplated sneaking out and going home, but he had suggested coffee at a local cafe in the morning, and he was bizarrely gentlemanly about inviting me over in the first place… so I laid there and listened to him snore gently, wondering how often I could shift without being too jerky.
I like gentlemen as a novelty, but since my sense of humour runs towards the sarcastic and inappropriate, too much courtly behaviour makes me feel like a finishing school drop-out. Or rather, someone who was expelled from finishing school for picking a wedgie with the salad fork.
Besides which, I feel like I’ve missed out on learning the rules of one night stands. Has someone written an Emily Post on random hook-ups? (I’m assuming this isn’t the sort of thing you learn in finishing school, unless it’s an advanced class you get to post-table settings.)
Anyway, our breakfast date was pretty pleasant, despite the residual awkwardness that comes from having seen each other naked but not actually exchanged much more than names and saliva. And then I walk of shamed home, and got leered at by many, many old men (I’m talking greybeards here) who clearly knew what I’d been up to.
July 30, 2009 at 1:37 am
I want to see a pickup/one night stand manual by the queen of Good Things herself. That’s right. Martha Stewart. She is ice cold and disturbingly hot at the same time.
And you young lady, are a dirty,dirty girl.
July 30, 2009 at 5:44 am
There’s only two rules for one night stands, really:
Don’t Be A Dick
Don’t Be Retarded
Sounds like you basically kept within their boundaries. Success! Have a drink to celebrate.
August 5, 2009 at 12:29 am
You’re nifty, I wish I’d gotten to know you better when you worked at Nextfilm.
August 5, 2009 at 2:03 am
If you’d asked me then, I would have told you I was nifty! Not about my slight tendency towards drunken boy-chasing, though. That I save for people who a) are victims, b) are unwitting bystanders, or c) read my blog.
August 5, 2009 at 2:18 am
I really should get into the habit of approaching people randomly at work and asking “Are you nifty?”
If these are the adventures you blog about, now I’m dying to know the ones you don’t blog about, haha!
August 5, 2009 at 2:28 am
Well, one day (if you’re good, and eat all your vegetables) maybe I’ll tell you about the other four in my top five most random nights. My personal favourite involves a beer hall and a hostel in Munich, but another good one was the time I got propositioned for a foursome at The Artful Dodger.
August 5, 2009 at 2:44 am
I feel two things right now.
Firstly, I feel a profound sense of inadequacy. My most risque story would probably begin with “So, this girl I’d met seven times over the course of a couple of months and I TOTALLY got it on. I’m tellin’ ya, she was a sluuuuuuut!”
Secondly, time to start eating up my veggies. =)