Recently, my dreams of getting my UK passport and thus being able to work in the EU were horribly crushed. It seemed I was not eligible. But yesterday my sister, being much more intelligent than I, discovered that we were, in fact, technically already British citizens… and therefore, my UK passport is just an application away.
And there doesn’t seem to be any good reason for me not to get it and go back to Europe. I was recently toying with the idea of teaching English in Asia. My childhood ambition to become some kind of professor died completely when, at 17, I taught swimming to bratty children who emitted a startling range of bodily fluids–at any rate, the dream was based more on hero-worship of my father than any actual desire on my part. But it does seem like a handy way to make money and see the sights in Asia, as well as gain valuable life experience and experience cultural immersion. And it’s what drama students from Guelph do when they become disillusioned with what life is offering in Toronto.
But while Asia is calling me (I WILL learn muay thai in the jungle! It MUST happen), my long love affair with Europe isn’t over. It may never be over. And, armed with a UK passport, I could work my way around the continent. Get shady jobs in hostels and bars! See the sights I missed in my mad dash! Have a torrid love affair with a charming and mysterious man with a sexy accent! Go back to Spain for more shopping!
Romanticism aside, it turns out that what I’m really happy doing is writing, and my inferiority complex manifests itself by demanding I make my life more interesting if that’s what I’m going to write about. I envision myself as a better-looking and less-douchey Chuck Klosterman and a less-hilarious, female Bill Bryson; that is to say, I want to write personal essays about experiences, preferably travel ones. And it’d be really awesome if someone could, you know, pay me for that sort of thing.
August 11, 2009 at 8:35 am
I think this is an excellent idea and will happily support it with my wallet whenever you have a book out or whatever (because I like your writing).
Just… just don’t compare yourself to Klosterman, okay? Even a less-douchey version of him. It hurts me to see you being so down on yourself.
August 12, 2009 at 7:13 pm
I did a little Muay Thai in Princeton, New Jersey, USA. Not much – just enough to break a few bones. Mauy Thai in Thailand is probably a bit more taxing – you know, spending an hour at a time kicking the shit out of a banana tree.
This is a good blog.
August 13, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Yay! Two fans! That’s more than a lot of people have.
Ian, I like some of Klosterman’s stuff! He’s entertaining and persuasive–often about complete bullshit, but you don’t have to agree with him to find him an interesting read.
Which bones did you break, Joe? I’ve never broken a bone before. I think eventually I’m going to break one of my wrists (I just think they’re the most likely victims, for some reason), but maybe my nose will go during Muay Thai.
August 13, 2009 at 6:33 pm
I found your blog through Twitter.
I broke a finger and a rib, along with an assortment of bruises, sprains, etc. But it was fun. I always try to remember what a great fighter once said, “Everybody’s got a plan until they get hit.”
August 13, 2009 at 4:11 pm
For some reason Klosterman brings out the sarcastic hyperbole in me – possibly in a fighting-fire-with-fire way. He strikes me as very similar to Hornby in the way that I can read something of his and be thinking “yeah, that’s a good point” – and then a paragraph later be so annoyed at him that I want to throw whatever I’m reading at a wall. Plus he seems like kind of a douche as a person (which may just be a writerly persona but christ, why on earth would you pick that one?).
I’m just saying I have yet to have the urge to wring your neck based on your writing, although I do agree that Klosterman is frequently good at what he does.
August 15, 2009 at 2:31 pm
A couple of things I have noticed in my travels. Despite geo-politcal encumberances, people everywhere seem to be generally kind and helpfull. Though this may be true, there are always people looking to take advantage of the stranger.
No where is as nice as you thought it was. It may be better in a different way. If you have great expectations, you will be dissappointed. If you let the experience happen instead of trying to mold the place to your expectations , you will enjoy it more.